It’s important to let men be fathers

Although a child is both parents’ responsibility, because of women’s capability of generating a baby, society ends up giving the mother most of the doubts and worries, and leaving the father aside. Psychologist Carla Ribeiro says that, most times, the woman herself makes the man’s role less seen, mainly because the fetus is developing within her body. 

According to the specialist, this behavior affects the relationship between father and child. “Some dads see the need of promptly being involved in issues related to the kid along with the mom, but most of them believe she is the ‘main character’. Women can be born with a maternal instinct, but men also think a lot about the kid’s needs regarding their role as a father, which modern men want to develop.”

Men who are interested in taking care of a kid since birth, and along with the mother, develop many skills. It is through this contact that they have the chance to learn to look after the little one responsibly, in a soothing and kind way. “A child’s relationship with the father teaches a lot too, like being patient and tolerant, because when they are babies, for example, they will cry during the night, have colic, get sick… So there is a need for the parents' whole attention 24/7”, says the psychologist. 

Having a healthy relationship with dad also prevents children from having problems for being too dependent on their mom. “They’ll grow up knowing that there’s a considerable difference between the masculine and feminine figures. The motherly figure is mainly seen as the one who offers her body for the child’s growing and feeding. Breastfeeding makes this contact and proximity between them possible, which can also happen with the father when using a bottle or by taking part when the mother is breastfeeding, by holding the baby’s hand and stroking them. Dads must also do things with children so that they know their dependence to their mom ends with time. This can mold an independent, self-confident and emotionally strong adult. 

Carla ends it by saying that it’s necessary to allow the father’s coming into the kid’s life. “Women can sometimes think they know how to provide care better by themselves, which creates stress and tiredness that will reflect on the couple’s relationship and on the child. Dads can be just as worried and caring as moms. “Unfortunately, we can’t say this about all men, because of the imposed idea that ‘women do it better’, but it’s not about who does it better. It’s about who wants to do it.”